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Echoes of a Shattered Life
Can resilience exist in a shattered life? You know, I kept on talking about empowerment and stuff, but whom am I kidding really, when my own life is havoc? I used to think that anything is possible in this life. And it does look like, on the surface. I have a Bachelor in Interpreting and… Continue reading
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A life of wonder denied for many
Are you seeking security or adventure? Are you seeking security or adventure? For some reason our society has become a bit divisive, it’s either one or another, without allowing anything in between. Western leaders say we shouldn’t judge by culture or disability, but look around: people get silenced online for speaking out, or labeled ‘crazy’… Continue reading
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Loving myself is giving me power
I am here to reclaim my personal power. You see, I am diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I am originally from Russia. I am a single mother. I am being silenced every single day. But I have dreams. I want to become a published writer. I wrote three books. I want to raise a good man,… Continue reading
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Mental Asylum
On the painting called La Salpêtrière (1795), Tony Robert-Fleury depicts how ‘madness’ was dealt with during the age of enlightenment. The ‘mad elements’ of the society were institutionalized in asylums, together with criminals. If you had nothing better to do on a Sunday, you could go to the asylum and watch the ‘mad’ for a… Continue reading
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I just believe
Do you believe in fate/destiny? From an early age I have always believed in something. I remember how on a walk with my mum, in Moscow, I would look into the sky, up above me, and ask myself whether there was more to this world and our universe. Moscow is a city of high buildings,… Continue reading
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A job and bipolar disorder
Do you enjoy your job? I love my job, and in general, I love working. But it hasn’t always been easy, in fact to get where I am now, it took me massive efforts to achieve. I teach at universities, and try to navigate it around my bipolar disorder. I have vulnerability to psychoses. I… Continue reading
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Give Hope to Others
What is your mission? A question of today from WordPress is ‘What is your mission?’ When I saw it, I decided to reflect on it in writing, as it’s a question I ask myself daily. What is my mission? You see, I really want to contribute to our humanity and in a good way. And… Continue reading
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Awake in a psychiatric hospital
In my first psychiatric hospital (twenty years ago) in Purmerend, a small Dutch town, there were cameras everywhere, including in each patient’s room. When I noticed this phenomenon I wondered whether by some accident I had ended up in an episode of Big Brother, with a question -what to do about it? I had to… Continue reading
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Psychosis: Before and After
Prior to my first ‘psychosis’ and my first psychiatric hospital in a small Dutch town called Purmerend, I was leading quite a successful life, according to the society’s standards. I somehow managed to get a job as a financial analyst of banks (and later, as a portfolio manager) in a Dutch consultancy without any diploma… Continue reading
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And so, my psychiatric journey began…
It was twenty years ago when I entered my first psychiatric hospital, in a town called Purmerend, not far from Amsterdam. I was driven there by my boss and a colleague/dear friend, who were concerned about my health. I was in a ‘psychosis’, in which I experienced the most amazing things. The whole world appeared… Continue reading
About Me
I am a doctor of philosophy, a university lecturer, and a lover of cats, fine wine, dancing, theatre, and human eccentricity. I was born in the Soviet Union (Moscow). I am fluent in four languages, and have spent all my adult life studying (except from 18 to 19) working and living throughout Western Europe. Despite a surname-Netchitailova- that translates from Russian into English as “unreadable”, my greatest passions in life are reading and writing. My personal struggles have made me appreciate the manifestations of weirdness that exist everywhere.