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I was Buddha
It was on a rainy day in November that I looked outside the window of my workplace in Amsterdam and asked: “Is there more to it? Is there something else?” I was three months into the promotion – portfolio manager – still a financial analyst of banks, still no diploma, at a consultancy in Amsterdam.… Continue reading
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Is there fate?
Do you think everything happens for a reason? Is there fate? Do you think everything happens for a reason? I do. I am not always sure how to describe it. Is it faith, a deep, personal faith in God, or something else? I struggle with the precise words, especially in the current world, where belief… Continue reading
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No Turkey for Christmas
Do you or your family make any special dishes for the holidays? Me and my son, we don’t have any family left where we live. When we moved to the Netherlands (for my job) six years ago, my Dutch stepfather (husband of my mother) followed us, to help me with my son, but he died… Continue reading
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Moscow: 1994
Is there an age or year of your life you would re-live? If I had to relive a year of my life, I would relive 1994. I was in Moscow in 1994, when Russia (but also Ukraine) was undergoing life crisis. After years of hunger shops restarted to sell some eatable products, such as bread,… Continue reading
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A life of wonder denied for many
Are you seeking security or adventure? Are you seeking security or adventure? For some reason our society has become a bit divisive, it’s either one or another, without allowing anything in between. Western leaders say we shouldn’t judge by culture or disability, but look around: people get silenced online for speaking out, or labeled ‘crazy’… Continue reading
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Loving myself is giving me power
I am here to reclaim my personal power. You see, I am diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I am originally from Russia. I am a single mother. I am being silenced every single day. But I have dreams. I want to become a published writer. I wrote three books. I want to raise a good man,… Continue reading
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The Scream
Let’s have a look at another painting in relation to ‘madness’ by Edvard Munch, named ‘’The Scream’’. There are a lot of interpretations of this painting, including the one that accuses the painter of drawing ‘anxiety’. I disagree (anxiety was just one aspect of his ordeal). Munch drew this panting after his sister had been… Continue reading
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Mental Asylum
On the painting called La Salpêtrière (1795), Tony Robert-Fleury depicts how ‘madness’ was dealt with during the age of enlightenment. The ‘mad elements’ of the society were institutionalized in asylums, together with criminals. If you had nothing better to do on a Sunday, you could go to the asylum and watch the ‘mad’ for a… Continue reading
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What is Happiness?
What are 5 everyday things that bring you happiness? Happiness, the concept of it, has been imposed on us, here in the West, as some sort of a guru mantra that could solve all our problems. In reality, however, it is pretty much impossible. We can get these glimpses of occasional happiness, but they are… Continue reading
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One bipolar morning everyday
What are your morning rituals? What does the first hour of your day look like? Those who know me, know that I am an early riser. I wake up at 5.30/6 to the singing of the blackbirds, and try to enjoy the moment for some time before getting up and going downstairs. My cat is… Continue reading
About Me
I am a doctor of philosophy, a university lecturer, and a lover of cats, fine wine, dancing, theatre, and human eccentricity. I was born in the Soviet Union (Moscow). I am fluent in four languages, and have spent all my adult life studying (except from 18 to 19) working and living throughout Western Europe. Despite a surname-Netchitailova- that translates from Russian into English as “unreadable”, my greatest passions in life are reading and writing. My personal struggles have made me appreciate the manifestations of weirdness that exist everywhere.