Ekaterina Netchitailova

I played at school theatre a lot and gave speeches and everything, but it’s hard to remain confident when you have to prove everyday that you are worth it.

I used to dream to become an actress and this was my first choice for a job of my dreams together with writing.

I remember how on my way to school I was planning to apply to the same university for actors where my boyfriend at that time studied and where I felt like belonging even if I was younger than everyone else and still at school. They had parties every weekend and unusual and eccentric people with stories to tell.

I was also a leading actress at my school’s theatre together with my best friend Masha, and acting school was a good fit for my personality and talent to apply to, if only I dared.

I didn’t. I didn’t dare to apply. At that time life was very difficult in Russia – we had barely anything to eat, mafia was everywhere, it was dangerous and unkind and I was advised to go for something safer that would ensure I could pay my bills in the future.

And I also lacked confidence. I was living on my own after my grandmother had passed away from an unexpected horror disease, judged as inadequate by my remaining family in Russia, and I didn’t like myself anymore and thought I was a failure.

The only good thing was that at least, I knew that hard work usually paid off and applied to study to become a teacher in languages and then as an interpreter and translator when I got a unique chance (thanks to my beloved late mother) to restart my life in Brussels and study in my favourite language, French.

Now, thirty years later I can finally say that one should always pursue his dreams and ambitions and that hard work does pay off, always. While I didn’t become a teacher in languages, I did still end up being a teacher, just in different subjects than languages. As long as you set up your mind on something and focus on it with your whole intent, you do get it, at the end. I just wish that my life would be easier but it isn’t, and therefore, I continue pursuing all my dreams, working on them every single day in between my psychoses and time for rest that I can’t deny any longer. I can focus on a task like running a marathon. Hard intellectual battle for eight hours straight sometimes to get a story or a research project of my dreams on Saturday. I never watch any tv, and almost never relax the whole evening.

Instead I work. I first work for my paid job and then I work on my dreams. I wrote a script and am writing novels. It’s hard work for more than twenty years but my life experience is a proof that one can become anyone one wants thanks to dedication, determination and total commitment to make it. Even a diagnosis of a serious mental illness shouldn’t stop you if you really want that dream, your childhood wishes that are usually right and intuitive, smashed by our over-judging society and those who are incapable of thinking outside the box.

Always go after your dreams, never give up!

I have to repeat the same mantra to my own face I see each day in the mirror, but am still dreaming. I still go on.

I spent my summer holidays on writing a script and I have three novels that can be published if they land in the right hands.

And even if they don’t I am still dreaming.

Because one day, I know, my hard work will pay off.