Ekaterina Netchitailova

The other day the WordPress in its prompt asked the following question:

What part of your routine do you always try to skip if you can?

I found it funny as I start my morning with the usual dilemma: do my quick ten minutes workout before sitting comfortably with my coffee to read the news and to write, or just skip it and start with coffee at once?

I do it because I understand the importance of some physical activity, and especially when you get older. Research shows that one should increase the exercise aimed at muscles with age, and yet, for the majority of us, it is a difficult part of the day. Exercise or not?

I used to be a sport woman, to the extent of total insanity. In its literal sense.

When I worked as a financial analyst of banks and a portfolio manager in Amsterdam, I would run in the morning before going to work, and go to the gym after work. I did sport every single day, twice, and quite seriously. My heartbeat was of an athlete, a professional sport woman.

It was on September 11^th 2001 though that I decided to stop going to the gym all together. I remember how I was sitting in the lounge, waiting for my class in step aerobics. There was a big TV screen, and it was showing absolutely terrible images. I remember how I was staring at it in total shock, and a thought passed my mind that most probably I wouldn’t be able to do any step-aerobics after all.

Other people, however, after glancing quickly at the TV screen proceeded to their class rooms for different lessons, and out of curiosity, I went to my class. I think I hoped for some reaction, that someone (our instructor) would calm us down and reassure that it wasn’t the end of the world.

But when I entered the class, the music was on full volume and women were standing in lines, ready to start the class, and totally bewildered and disappointed, I run outside, on the street, vomited and took the decision to never go back to the gym.

But even without the gym, my exercise routine remained quite heavy. I would wake up every morning at six for a run, and to replace the gym, I would run more, and sometimes run again in the evening. I think something wrong was with me at psychological level – an unresolved childhood trauma, which manifested itself fully when I ended up in a psychosis after drinking some herbal Chinese tea to treat my gastritis.

I recovered though at some point, after I stopped the psychiatric meds I had been given in the hospital, and debated for a while whether I should return to sport or not.

I couldn’t. I even tried a couple of gyms again, but every time I would go there, the images of September 11 would return into my mind. And I also felt the futility of it. As everyone else I was brainwashed that being a member of a gym was some sort of achievement in one’s life. But after my ‘psychosis’ I realized that I already did a lot of sport by just walking. Why to drive one’s body to exhaustion in any case? I looked fine, was my opinion, and took a totally radical view at my life. Instead of gym I could enjoy nature during my walks, read interesting books, meet with friends, or simply do nothing.

Now, twenty years later I still look fine, despite my relaxed approach towards sport. I continue walking every day, and exercise my muscles for a bit each morning.

And this is enough. I don’t need more.